Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
