Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Randomize
