I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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