What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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