I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
