Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
