dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize