Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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