Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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