So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize