I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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