Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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