I want to make a zoo with you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
