I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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