go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
