Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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