If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Are we still banned from the library?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
