OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
