I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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