So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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