god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
