Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
