What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
