Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
