I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
