And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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