so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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