OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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