it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
