i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
