Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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