I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
