How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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