how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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