went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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