Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
