Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

(310): View more from California

So you didn't like Bolt?

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(512): View more from Texas

I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.

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(925): View more from California

just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

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(760): View more from California

double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors

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(303): View more from Colorado

But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE

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(779): View more from Illinois

The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting

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