how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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