i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
40s are totally the cure
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
