Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
