So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
