I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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