The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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