Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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