Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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