when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
