i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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