Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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