help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
