peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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