At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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