Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
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he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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