You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
