she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They have beer where we have blood.
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