It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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