About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
