No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
