I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my being single is dangerous.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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