im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize